As a pastor, I’ve done my fair share of funerals. But this one was different. She was a part of our church family. It happened unexpectedly; without warning. Even if there was some reasonable explanation for it, nothing will lessen the unimaginable grief of her family, and the gaping hole left behind in our community by her unexpected death.
There is something particularly unsettling when you look at a coffin so small.
Deep down it reminds you that something is very wrong with the world we live in. Death is difficult regardless of age, but when a child dies, even the strongest foundations tremble. Even the toughest of people aren’t completely immune from the stabbing sense of uncertainty that the death of a child produces. I suppose it’s the idea that children are still relatively innocent, unspoiled by the world during their short life-span, in contrast to adults, who have lived longer, fuller, and typically, more complicated lives.
I think most would generally agree that children are often the ‘innocent victims’ of the foolish risks and selfish choices that adults make; whether you’re talking about abortion, addictions, human-trafficking or war. Of course, children aren’t exempt from the tragedies of accident or sickness either.
Evolution offers no comfort whatsoever to the parents bereft of their pride and joy. Darwinism chalks life up to a mindless, heartless game of chance. Life and death is nothing more than a cosmic role of the dice, where only the strong survive; that is if some other unforeseen circumstance doesn’t arbitrarily cut you down prematurely. Evolution can’t offer anything other than cold theoretic speculation to stop a broken heart from bleeding out by the loss of their child.
Most religions don’t offer much better consolation. The death of a child will leave the most spiritual person to wonder about the goodness or wisdom of God.
Even as a Christian who has sought long and hard to reconcile the belief in God’s sovereignty (that is His supreme authority over all creation) and man’s free-will (that is man’s freedom to truly make his own choices) it is the innumerable lives of children lost to adult choices that make it challenging to keep the scales balanced.
As I sought to comfort the anguishing family robbed of their youngest daughter, I prayed to God for words that might bring even a moment’s relief to their grieving. I found myself pointing them to one of the most foundational truths of the Christian faith; that God knows, feels and shares their pain.
The Bible teaches that God knows the heartbreak of a parent that has lost their child. The name of God’s Son is Jesus, and the core teaching of the Christian faith is that Jesus stepped down from heaven into our world and lived a fully human experience. Romans 8:3 reads, (New Living Translation) “So God…sent his own Son in a body like the bodies we sinners have. And in that body God declared an end to sin’s control over us by giving his Son as a sacrifice for our sins.”
God knows the grief and sorrow of watching a sinful, selfish world murder His ‘beloved Son’ by nailing Him to a Roman cross. While Jesus willingly laid down His life as a sacrifice for our sins, it doesn’t subtract from the fact that God, for your sake and mine, watched His Son die in our place. And yes, He knew that Jesus would rise again from the dead, victorious over death and the grave, but that doesn’t minimise what the Father felt in watching his Son die; dying a death He didn’t deserve.
Jesus was more that just innocent, He was sinless. While he lived to the age of an adult, he died less deserving of death than any human who has ever lived. Only a truly sinless human could stand as the substitute for sinful humans, in paying our debt of sin to God.
This is the reason Jesus, the Son, came, and the reason the Father allowed Him to ultimately go to the cross in our place. It is why I, as a Christian, can offer this consolation to all who have suffered the loss of a loved one; even the loss of a little child.
That isn’t all though. Telling a devastated family that ‘God knows how you feel’ isn’t nearly enough to bring any lasting comfort. In fact, it may only make things worse, if they don’t know the rest of the story.
Jesus’ death, His sacrifice for sin, means that our sins can be washed away through faith in what He’s done. Jesus will save us from our sins if we put our faith in Him. Ephesians 2:8 says, “By grace we are saved through faith (in Jesus), it is the gift of God…’ . But again, that’s not where the story ends. Jesus rose from the dead after three days, proving that He defeated death once and for all.
Jesus not only died for our sins and rose from the dead triumphant over death, but He is now seated, alive forever more, at the right hand of His Father, waiting for the end of the age, when He will return to judge the earth and set up the Kingdom of God.
Here is the final part of the good news. To those who have put their faith and trust in Jesus, God promises the gift of eternal life. He promises the hope of heaven and the reconciliation with those loved ones who belong to Him. As the scriptures ask, “O death, where is your victory?…Thank God! He gives us victory over sin and death through our Lord Jesus Christ.”
The child we buried last week was a treasure trove of life, joy and laughter. Her infectious smile lit up the world everywhere she went. There is nothing and no-one that can fill the space left behind in her absence, but God offers the comfort of knowing that she now lives, literally and fully, in His presence; in heaven, and that we shall see her again in that place.
Jesus came, died and rose again to eternal life, in order to provide those who come to Him the hope of being with their loved ones again; not in a broken and fallen world, but in a paradise restored.
Revelation 21:2-4 “God Himself will be with them and be their God. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.”
By Pastor Tim Mattox,
Paphos Calvary Chapel,
www.calvarycyprus.com