One of winter’s joys is a deep, hot bath. Unfortunately our bath taps have become veeeeeeery slow, so that not only must one lay aside an hour and a half to heat the ancient tank, the bath then takes another hour to fill. Our landlord always responds IMMEDIATELY to any maintenance issue, but we have learned that if it can’t be instantly fixed, he will turn up unannounced at any hour and, without warning, switch off the electricity and water and parade several tradesmen through every door of the house. We daren’t mention any complaint without clearing a week in which we can remain home forgoing lie-ins or showers, let alone risk booking anyone into the studio for a recording session.
Before bringing said landlord into the bathroom, I thought I’d better clean it up a bit, and bought a spray bottle of anti-mould and another of anti-limescale. Directions for the first: remove safety-clip from spray nozzle. We pushed, prodded and pulled to no avail,eventually slicing the top off with a breadknife and decanting the contents into another spray bottle. Next, the anti-limescale spray, with a label saying “instructions inside label”. Inside label? Yes indeed, I need to peel the label off and read the reverse side. The label came apart in six pieces, requiring sellotape and a magnifying glass to decipher the secret. It too worked a marvel, and the shiny bath and taps inspired me to glorify the entire bathroom.
Finally a clear week appears, so light the touchpaper of alerting landlord Costa. “I call the boss” he responds. Ten minutes later he appears in our garden with a man with a bag of tools. I proudly declare οι βρύσες μας είναι πολύ αργές and demonstrate the trickle of water.
Next to our one-storey house is another front door and a flights of stairs leading to the roof – a first floor apartment that never got built, but here lies access to all our pipes, wires and water tanks. There follows much stomping about above, splashing in the bathroom, and a considerable amount of yelling between the two.
After an hour, I’m asked to turn on the bath tap and am showered from above with cold water. Thanks, guys. I switch it back to tap, and witness a slightly stronger trickle of water. Well, it’s a bit better, I say, which is met with “Yes! Better! You are satisfying?” from ‘the Boss’. A plumber friend has told us these pipes keep filling up with limescale and need to be taken out and replaced , but I guess getting The Boss in once a year to stick his big rod down is cheaper, and the best we’re going to get, so I agreed that I was satisfying (I have been told so, at times). They left. I finished mopping the floor, which seemed ridiculously wet, but hey ho, I had a bath to look forward to tonight.
Paul and I then tried to leave the house, but on doing so Costa seemed very concerned that we had locked the door to the stairway . Yes, we assured him, but he kept miming stairs and gesturing to the door. Baffled, we unlocked it, he disappeared inside, reappearing a few minutes later with a ladder. So
σκάλες means ladder as well as stairs….
We return home to a flooded bathroom and call Costa once more. The Boss had long since had his coffee and game of backgammon and gone, so Costa switched the mains water off and said he’d call The Boss again. So, no bath, and back to knowing chaos could return at any moment.
Which it did. Cue more men splashing and shouting and running through the house, during which Costa’s wife appears in the kitchen bearing a bottle of water. I begin to explain that we have some water stored for emergencies, but thanks for the thought, but she stops me in my tracks by tipping the bottle into her hand and throwing the water around the room, causing terrified cats scurrying in all directions and skidding on wet floors. She beams me a beatific smile and declares “I bless house for new year!”
Jezebel is one half of GrooveJet Media. Jezebel along with Paul, as well as being performing musicians themselves, have a project studio offering recording and production services to singers, duos, bands, film and video industry, radio and TV, as well as guitar tuition and custom made backing tracks. Our event production side presents various shows both of our own and in collaboration with or providing support for others. Groovejet Entertainments provides work for other musicians and entertainers, and provides venues with suitable acts. The Wedding Groove supplies individual DJs, singers, musicians, bands or whatever the happy couple desire for their wedding party. Visit the Groovejet Media Facebook page to find out more: